i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
