Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
