That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
