Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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