I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
