just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize