God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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