so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
