my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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