Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
people are starting to question the shark bite story
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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