Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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