I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
