ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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