Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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