Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's great music for shaving your balls
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
