Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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