I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
