"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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