I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
