you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
