Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize