Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
false alarm. still invincible.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
