are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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