Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
