My underwear smells like fireworks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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