Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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