He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
