Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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