He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
