wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
