Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
