Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
