thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
