sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
