i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize