I just saw a hot homeless man
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
