my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
