Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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