i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Enjoy the penises
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
