my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize