Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
