I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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