Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
