One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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