I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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