I just threw up on my dentist
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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