I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
