Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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