just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
