I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
