i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
