Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
