So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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