I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
