Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
