I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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