it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
