I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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