It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
