I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
