i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
