Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
