I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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